i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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