idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
