you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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