I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
