you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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