he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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