Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
