Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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