She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
