Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
