The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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