If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We smell like vodka and hangover
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