I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
