I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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