I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
