The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize