you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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