Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
