Just mADE A PArabola og urine
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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