You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
