You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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