You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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