Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
