mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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