im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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