is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
