Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
