I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
is it fun? or sober?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
