We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize