just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
