I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
