My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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