Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
