Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I lost the right to judge tonight
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
