I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
not ubering you a puppy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
