He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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