you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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