Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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