Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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