Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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