We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
