So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
