Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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