his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
