Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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