I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
