so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
please come you make the beer taste better
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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