Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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