id be glad to
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
