i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
