I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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