Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
