He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
