tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Drunk is not a location!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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