is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
