You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
