Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Found your dick twin last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
