yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
sarcasm needs its own font
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
