a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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