we're blogging at a bar
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
