I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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