there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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