I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
