it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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